Dear Mike Cessario and Liquid Death Fam,
You saw a great need and a supportive target market to release your beverage. I respect and appreciate what you've done, but not so much how you've done it. Liquid Death is a national treasure and the branding so far has been absolutely phenomenal. And for some reason I've got to give you a tip of the hat for naming the product with the warning label of what it means to drink your water, "Liquid Death".
Let's educate people on the consequences of drinking out of containers not named glass. In this case aluminum needs a seal to prevent shards of aluminum from being lodged in parts of your body. Usually that means PFA's (polyfluoroalkyl substances) and other forever chemicals to keep the beverage on the shelf longer. Liquid Death contains double the PFA's approved regulated amount. Let me say what that means very direct - IT CAUSES INFERTILITY AND CANCER in Layman's terms = DEATH. Below are the other causes of the PFA's, that are lined in aluminum and metal containers to resist water from accessing the aluminum shards on the beverage container.
PFAS have been linked to a wide range of health risks, including:
Cancer
Hormone disruption
Liver and thyroid problems
Reproductive harm
Abnormal fetal development
Weakened childhood immunity
Low birth weight
So Dearest Mike and Liquid Death Obituary Readers, you have an opportunity to do better to the customers and consumers around the world who have made you billions while you kill them, silently...
On your website you have a page that says DEATH TO PLASTIC. You are right. They are just as bad if not worse. But everyone really should be killing all containers not named Glass. They are all bad for you as they can seep micro shards of the container into the beverage, which you will be able to taste. That is because the climate outside can affect the contaminents in the beverage. For example, if it ever get's warm or direct sunlight touches it, hello cancer!
Don't drink out of plastic, or metal, or any carcinogen container. I'm not saying, don't ever drink out of a container that's not glass. But I'm getting ready to say it: DON'T DRINK BEVERAGES STORED IN CONTAINERS THAT ARE NOT GLASS, THEY ARE ALL UNSAFE.
So let's uncan that drink and put it in the proper storage container that the industry silently switched, secretly harming and suppressing consumers. As your personal unsolicited Marketing Consultant, to help you do better for the world, let's flip the script and create the best beverage possible for everyone. Let's call it Liquid Life. And let's lace it with all kinds of vitamins and minerals that are proven to make people feel their best.
Let's venture back into time about how the beverage industry has been slowly killing consumers through their beverage containers... In the 1940s, people began seeing plastic floating around but it was not a huge jump because customers and consumers in the USA trusted glass. In the 1970s, PET (polyethylene terraphthalate) started to change the entire beverage industry. Basically, what those chemicals do is resist water. It resists water from rubbing against the aluminum, or plastic, or whatever container the liquid is in to prevent it from seeping into the beverage.
The interest in it is obvious, it is cheaper materials that don't break or bust and it generates more PROFIT (short term). Calm down capitalism, you're losing more money than you realize in the long term just because you are cutting corners to cheapen your product. You'd be making more money because your consumers would be living significantly longer! Sure you will lose money because you will have clumsy delivery drivers that drop a whole case. Simply make the environment for the beverage container safer. And make the decision to stop killing your customers.
No rush on this Mike, I haven't moved forward legally with any of this, because it is significantly easier for you to make this change than me create it myself. My purpose is to simply educate all the party's involved customers, consumers, Mike and Liquid Death Life. Customers if you simply make the decision to stop giving your money to companies they will be forced to change. If you need proof, look at where McDonald's menu started, and where it is now... Look forward to that post in the near future.
We have the money and the power, they need us - we don't need them, remember that.
Signed, your favorite customer advocate not named Ralph Nader - Daniel Taylor